Parakeet Rat

If you had a parakeet that liked to talk, would you keep it in your bedroom?  Probably not.  But that's exactly what my aunt and uncle did.  They used to have a parakeet that would say, "that's preposterous, birds don't talk."  It said some other stuff I don't remember, but you get the point--it's skills of mimicry were outstanding.  This would make most couples (I hope) think of keeping their bird in another room, lest it embarrassingly rat them out as they show off their birds skills.  Apparently this was of no concern to them, which was also ratting them out in a way that is more sad than embarrassing.  I suppose that I shouldn't jump to conclusions, and would probably be better off never thinking about it again.  But it's kind of funny, so I can't help myself!

Cut Men and Waitresses

I was at the fight tonight (Emelianenko vs Arlovski), and was once again noticing one of the things that weirds me out.  The fight was great.  If you didn't see it you should learn about it from some place other than my blog.  I can get past the sweaty man-on-man action without a problem.  What gets me is that when the fighters retreat to their corners their cut men reach in and pull out the mouth guard -- barehanded!  Does this seem gross to anyone else?  I've seen it a lot.  It won't ever seem normal.  

I haven't worn a mouth guard in years, but have had someone recently handle my saliva tainted refuse.  I was eating at a pretty nice restaurant with some friends a few weeks back, and our first appetizer was some Spanish olives.  There was a plate full of olives, and as everyone was discarding their olive pits to the edge of the table to keep them from mingling with uneaten olives.  After the olives are gone, a waitress is walking by--not our waitress--and just grabs all the olive pits up in her bare hand and keeps walking!  I ask you again--does this seem gross to anyone else?  Now before you go making assumptions, this waitress was really good looking.  I would maybe expect such a swipe from some dirty waitress at some greasy spoon, but I was completely caught off guard.  I've seen such behaviour from mothers with their children, but this girl did not appear to be anyone's mother.  It's bad enough when they take your plates and their thumbs go into some food left on the edge of the plate.  Far worse when the food has clearly been in ones mouth.  

That's all I've got for tonight.

American Idol Done Right

I was at my local Globo Gym tonight, and while I'm on the treadmill, what do I see on the flat screen but American Idol.  Closed Captioned.  Right.  Of course there was a little sign saying to tune into 107.9 for audio, but everybody's headphones were plugged into iPods, which do not have FM tuners.  Zunes suck, and nobody has an old school Walkman anymore, so I found this amusing.  Fortunately, the next screen had the World's Strongest Man Competition, and there was enough grunting all around me that it could have very well been the appropriate audio...

Giugni's

In the heart of the Napa Valley there is a dark and dirty little deli that is easy to overlook. Surrounded by world class restaurants and wineries it might slip past the visiting epicure, but those in the know are blessed. I kind of understand, as in high school I remember all varieties of freaks making my sandwiches--people I would never let prepare my food had I not known in advance how excellent it would taste. There are plenty of chain sandwich shops, with their expensive advertising and so-called "sandwich artists," but these sandwiches are mundane and prosaic. How quickly does one tire of sandwiches off of the menu board? Three cheese choices? spongy bread?

In one of the culinary centers of America, you will find a sandwich taken to a different level. You want bread? Thirteen choices. You want meat? Twenty-seven choices. You want cheese? Twenty one choices. You want mustard? Three choices. You want a sub with under six grams of fat? You go to hell. Jared Fogel would not have lost the weight on the Giugni's diet.

Even though for almost 12 years I have lived 500 miles away from Giugni's Deli, the girls making my sandwich know I'm a local by the way I order it. How, I won't share with you, but even new face will say, "Ah, a local boy." When I am home to visit my parents, who for some reason do not share my passion, I am careful to plan my arrival time before five, so I can enjoy a sandwich before eating more family oriented meals. When I was home for Christmas, I ordered my sandwich, sat down at a window table, and just held it for a couple minutes. I wanted to let as many senses as possible partake in the experience. I went back the next day with friends. On my way back out of town, I stopped by to purchase four bottles of Giugni Juice -- red wine vinegar, soya oil, herbs, salt, pepper and garlic. It's legendary. The girl at the register immediately took an understanding tone, acknowledging that I must be going out of town, that she knew that I would be settling for inferior sandwiches for quite some time.

I try to avoid sandwiches for a while after being home. If I eat one to soon I get frustrated and either angry or sad. Within a couple of days of returning to Riverside, I ended up at a Panera Bread. Many regard this as a decent, even excellent sandwich place. I couldn't even finish. I grew silent. My friends asked what was wrong. I said nothing was wrong, but I had just eaten at Giugni's earlier. One knew what I meant, and gave an empathetic sigh. The others just looked at me like I was crazy.

If you haven't had the pleasure, you probably think I'm crazy. I have given friends visiting the Napa Valley lists of wonderful places to eat. Many include the destination restaurants, the ones they might read about in magazines, or see on the Food Network. I am only mildly surprised when they come back raving about their favorite -- Giugni's. I know I haven't had every sandwich in the world, but I will call Giugni's the best deli sandwich this side of heaven. Many will agree with me. Some might vainly try to convince me that some other sandwich is better, but until you try mine, I will not listen.

Giugni's Deli

1227 Main Street

St. Helena, CA

94574

(707) 963-3421

Another Mystery

Maybe I'm coming at this from obvious bachelor sensibilities (or lack thereof), but can somebody please explain to me why so many half bathrooms have a full set of towels?  It happens all the time.  I step into a half bath and find two hand towels, and two full size towels.  Am I to believe that there are full size towels just in case somebody gets really carried away with a sponge bath?  It almost seems like excessive wetness is being encouraged!  It's pretty much accepted as sufficient to wash your hands after you use the restroom.  I've got pretty good sized hands, and have never gotten them so wet that a standard hand towel wouldn't cut the mustard.  As long as we're over-supplying the half bath, why not put in a couple of washcloths as well?  

I live in a house with such a mysteriously stocked half bath.  There's more towel rack in the half bath than in the full bath!  This decorating was not my own doing, as I am just one renter in a house of three.  I cannot say that when I am decorating my own place it's half baths will have only hand towels, but I will likely be no more able to explain my reasoning than those whom I have asked.  I swear to you I have seen faces turn into question marks as these decorators ponder this question for the first time.  It's nearly 11:30, and now I will probably be up all night thinking about this.  Please shed some light on this mystery.

Watch Your Head

Lately I've been thinking about how I never think about hitting my head while getting into a car.  Thousands of times I've just plopped into the seat, my head playing a high stakes game of limbo, where the bar would not fall harmlessly, but inflict great pain.  I don't remember the last time I did hit my head, but I probably have.  John McCain apparently did it in June of 2008.  What's amazing is that it doesn't happen far more often.  Sometimes I think I can almost feel the door frame just beyond my hair, yet no matter what type of vehicle I enter, appropriate avoidance adjustments are automatically made on the fly.  It's really pretty amazing.