I'm Onto You, Nordstrom

I'm onto you, Nordstrom. I went to the mall today to buy a casual black belt and some socks, which I accomplished at another store, but somehow I ended up in your men's section. I'm not sure if it was your live piano player, or a deeper draw to my Swedish roots, but there I was. I entered with two friends, but was soon separated, yet not alone. Every few aisles I encountered your accomplices--beautiful women pretending their only concern was my shopping whim. They approached with disarming smiles, ready to trick me into buying $200 wallets and $100 t-shirts. At first I was ready for their friendly greeting with a witty response, but was disarmed by her keen comeback. Even so I managed to escape the frying pan, only to land in the fire, for along my escape route waited another of your customer service angels. She showed me a cologne that I didn't want, but suddenly needed. I agreed it smelled amazing. She offered to put some on me, just to see if I would like it over time. Fortunately, for the first time in years I had tried a sampler in a previous store, and explained that it would probably not give me a true sense of how it would be. I escaped your seductive grasp. I left your store without spending a dollar. I have overcome. I will see you next Monday.

What am I supposed to listen to?

Listen up to what I'm supposedly supposed to be listening to.  It seems to be that most people expect me to only listen to classic rock and 80's music.  People find out I know some hip-hop and they act all shocked and surprised.  This doesn't really blow my mind, as I myself am not hip-hop.  I'm used to this, but it's happened many times with country music!  What could be more different from hip-hop?  What's hard to believe about me and country music?  I have pretty eclectic taste in music.  Jazz.  Latin.  Broadway.  Whatever.  The list goes on.  I just want to know why people are so often surprised.  It's not a big deal.  Here's the big secret.  I don't like commercials.  If I'm driving and commercials come on, I jump to the next station.  Easy.  It's not rocket science.  How long will I surprise people be listening to different music?  What's more surprising is that more people don't listen to such varied music.  This almost makes me think that other people like commercials more than different music genres.  If I think this through too much I will have to address iPods and such, so I'm just going to wrap this up.  

Almost Sliced Bread

I don't know how far behind the curve I am, but recently I discovered something amazing.  Single-serving, microwaveable packages of vegetables!  Revolutionary.  If there was an excuse for not eating vegetables before, it is now inadequate.  This is not about whether or not one should be eating vegetables, because that's not debatable.  But one must admit that when reality happens vegetables often fall by the wayside.  It's another dish to prepare and clean up.  It all too often turns into leftovers.  It's never been difficult, but now that preparing vegetables is easier than making toast, green foods are finding their way onto my plate.  No leftovers.  No clean-up.  No excuses.  

These pre-portioned vegetables are not the only ones I will eat, but as I'm usually cooking for one they are perfect.  Sure, I will pull out the big bag or grill up some fresh veggies when cooking for others, but that weekly meal was hardly a contribution to the seven daily recommended.  You people who get home by five might scoff at my enthusiasm.  You might turn up your nose at my vegetable equivalent of microwave mac-n-cheese.  Even so, I will tell you that it's almost as easy as taking a vitamin, and far more satisfying.  Also, while there is great culinary shame with making macaroni and cheese out of a box, there is no such emotion with vegetables.  Once your boxed macaroni is on the plate, everyone can tell where it came from.  When I've got some steamed peas on my plate there is no trace of my efficiency.  Furthermore, this allows extra time to put towards a better main dish.  

I haven't eaten Top Ramen since high school.  It's been five years since I've had the aforementioned macaroni.  My new vegetable friends will just clear my arbitrary line of acceptability.  I make no excuses.  They are amazing.

Soft Tower

My favorite Korean restaurant is just around the corner from work.  It's mostly a lunch place for me, and I only order one thing--the dolsot bibimbap.  It's fantastic.  I also like some of the appetizers, but have no idea what they're called.  So far, I would expect to be able to order this in just about any Korean restaurant I would come across.  What really seals the deal is that when you get the check, you also get an ice cream cone to serve yourself from the soft-serve machine!  It has turned into a bit of a competition to see who can make the highest cone.  I am putting it out there, declaring myself the undisputed champion of the soft-serve stack, at least amongst my usual lunch buddies.  I suckered a co-worker into believing that I had previously worked at a Foster's Freeze.  I will admit that the competition is catching up.  I have seen some impressive towers, but none without their weak links, their structural faults.  But it has fueled my competitive juices.  I am issuing a challenge.  Try to beat me at the soft-serve tower.  I'll even give you a little tip, just as a reward for stopping by the blog:  Stay away from the chocolate--it's always too soft to stack.  There are also multiple techniques involved, but for that you're on your own.  Just in case my coworkers aren't up to the task, I have a second motivation.  I want to build a cone so tall that the restaurant wants to charge me extra.  

He Has Counted to Infinity - Twice

Happy 69th birthday, Chuck Norris.  We all know nobody is going to try to spank you.

Happy Square Root Day

Last week we had the wonderful opportunity to celebrate National Pancake Day, as well as National Pistachio Day.  As exciting as these annual holidays were, today, 3/3/09, we celebrate a day that will not come again for seven years.  Nine times each century math nerds cut root vegetables into squares, and cut other foods into the square root symbol.

If National Square Root Day gets you excited for mathematical holidays, and you can't wait for 4/4/16, then maybe the annual Pi Day (3/14) or Pi Approximation Day (22/7) can scratch that itch.

Go Crazy.  You know you wanted to--now you have an excuse.

Lakers

To all the Lakers fans that were talking smack about the Lakers matching the Chicago Bulls' 1996 72 win season:

SUCK IT!!!  Lakers 48-12.