Onions

In a supposedly uniform menu, how can one have a Taco Bell bean burrito that stands out as good or bad?  The point of a chain restaurant is so that you know what you're getting.  That being said, taking the classic bean burrito as our example, the make or break ingredient is the onion.  Sometimes there are onions, and sometimes there are not.  Fact - the good burritos have onions.  They supply a satisfying texture to an otherwise uninteresting chew.  So today, in an effort to break it up a little bit, I stopped by Alberto's for a burrito.  Imagine my surprise when I get home and find onions like you'd find on a burger inside my burrito!  Sliced onions do not belong in a burrito, end of story.  Sliced is for burgers, chopped is for burritos.  

I remember a time when I didn't like, or at least didn't think I liked onions, and now it's hard to imagine why.  The Ancient Egyptians worshipped it.  Ancient Greek athletes ate large quantities of onions because they believed it would lighten the balance of the blood.  Roman gladiators were rubbed down with onion to firm up their muscles.  They have been prescribed for bowel movements, erections, headaches and hair loss.  Syn-propanethial-S-oxide can kiss my ass, but in January of 2008, New Zealand created a strain of "no tears" onions.

At this point you should realize two things -- you should educate yourself more about onions, because nobody else but me is telling you, and you should always have chopped onions on your bean burritos!