Jerseys

Football season is pretty much here, and I am excited. In a couple of weeks I will probably come to the realization that my team, the Raiders, will suck hard yet again, but for now the chance at a fresh start brings hope.

I wish that with this fresh start I could also have hope for people. I wish I could trust that people would have better taste than to wear jerseys all throughout the season. Sadly, I doubt much will change. To be fair, there are appropriate times and places for fan jerseys.

You get a pass on Sunday, but only if you're watching a game. If you're making a trip to the store to buy some nacho cheese before the game, that's okay, but only if it's Sunday morning. The Saturday afternoon jersied grocery run is in poor taste.

If you are a child, you get a pass throughout the week. We live vicariously through you. If you are in your 30's wearing a Terrell Owens jersey on a Tuesday, there are few forgivenesses. Come to think of it, if you're anybody wearing a Terrell Owens jersey, even on Sunday, you've probably got a screw loose.

If you're at the game, I strongly support you wear a team jersey, and at the very least, the colors. But listen, if you're going to wear a Broncos jersey to the Black Hole in Oakland you probably deserve what's coming to you. You might end up with an infamous Darwin Award.

This transgression is not limited to football. A worse offender is probably basketball. I can't really think of a time when wearing a team basketball jersey is appropriate. Not even one. Now, I can't explain what I'm doing with a retro Kings Mike Bibby jersey, but I can tell you that I have never once worn it. I like that it is in my closet. I have no intention of getting rid of it, just as I have no intention of wearing it.

Look, I wouldn't say I know all about social identity theory as it pertains to team sports, but I get what's going on there. I, too, am a part of it. I might even buy a jersey someday, to be worn only at the appropriate times. And as I wrap up, consider those with their favorite team's emblem tattooed on themselves. Wild stuff. Fortunately, the ones I have seen the most have been Raiders tattoos. And that's good, because the Raiders have the most bad-ass uniforms in pro-sports. That's pretty much irrefutable. The end.