Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Give Me Steam

Hemochromatosis. Too much iron in the blood. I didn't have it. I had too much iron on my clothes. They don't have a word for that, but I was suffering. I had left my ironing board up for over a year, routinely ironing clothes before work. People would ask me why I ironed so much, and at times I felt like I was all alone, jealous of those who mysteriously had wrinkle free clothes. Of course I had regularly thrown a couple of items into the dryer. I had gone as far as buying Downy Fabric Releaser in bulk, but I kept coming back to the iron.
Now everything has changed. For six months my only iron has been dietary. I owe it all to steam. My iron would make steam, but not like I needed. I needed crazy steam. Now I have 1300 watts of steam spewing power that make wrinkles disappear faster than panties at a Tom Jones concert. Have you ever tried to iron cargo pants? Miserable. Steam cargo pants? Piece of cake! I love it. Steam is so much more than a Peter Gabriel song. It is broccoli's best friend and can power locomotives over mountains. It can clean your carpets and draw crowds to geysers. It can also mess you up, which makes it dangerous, and therefore, very cool.
Now I only iron on vacation, and the lousy hotel irons make me miss my steamer even more. I'm not going to lie about it -- people see my steamer and they want to use it. It's intriguing. I do suggest you try it. It could change your life...

3 comments:

Barrett B. said...

Brooks Brothers wrinkle free shirts buddy! Priceless. You may need to retire the cargo pants soon. I think their expiration date was is 2005.

Unknown said...

Ok, I've been called out. I don't actually own cargo pants. I do have cargo shorts, however, and they are not supposed to expire until at least 2011.

Barrett B. said...

Good, I was afraid I was going to have to bring up the Teva expiration date as well!

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